Today, Debbie talks with with Steven Petrow about his new book, Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong (Citadel Press 2021). Publication day is June 29, 2021 but you can pre-order.

The title says it all as does the list of stupid things to avoid, offered in 43 bite-size chapters. Steven is an award-winning journalist and author who is best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on aging, health, and LGBTQ issues. Debbie has been following his work for a while and when she heard about his new book on old age she jumped on getting him onto the show.

We’ve all had a lot of time to think about life – and death – during this pandemic gap year and old age is starting to get personal for Debbie (she turns 70 this year). She figured Steven’s humorous approach to the topic would make it easier to get into a substantive discussion about getting old. It did and you’ll find this conversation goes surprisingly deep.

The book covers lighter topics like:

• Why you shouldn’t color your hair
• Why you shouldn’t avoid looking at yourself naked in the mirror
• Why you shouldn’t lie about your age (even on dating apps)
• Why you shouldn’t hoard those little jam packets (and otherwise collect clutter)
• Why you shouldn’t tell your life story when someone says, “How are you”
• Why you shouldn’t become a miserable curmudgeon

In this episode, Debbie and Steven talk about harder stuff.  When does old age actually start? What about the looming uncertainty of how many years – how many good years – you have left? How do you make that time count?

They also talk about things no one wants to talk about (like decreased libido, not wanting to use a walker, and the “smell” of old people). And they talk about how to have the hard conversations with elderly parents. You know the ones: “Maybe you shouldn’t be driving anymore” or “Maybe it’s time to think about getting more care at home” or, even, “What kind of memorial service do you want?”

Steven offers candid answers for how to address the indignities and challenges of old age whether you are encountering them through family members and friends, or worrying about yourself. This is a fun, easy listen.

Mentioned in this episode or useful:

• Steven Petrow
• Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong by Steven Petrow (Citadel Press 2021)

“For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow’s wildly popular New York Times essay, Things I’ll Do Differently When I Get Old.”

• Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners (Workman Publishing, 2011)
• Things I’ll Do Differently When I’m Old by Steven Petrow (New York Times, December 5, 2017)
• Steven’s columns for The New York Times on cancer, vanity, and health
• Steven’s essays for the Washington Post on civility, aging, and LGBTQ issues
• Steven’s recent columns for USA Today
• Steven’s TED talk: 3 ways to practice civility
• Twitter
• Facebook
• A New Way to Age: The Most Cutting-Edge Advances in Antiaging by Suzanne Somers (Gallery Books 2020)

Note from Debbie

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• Email: [email protected]

– Debbie

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