Debbie sits down with Dr. Joy Dryer, a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who’s been in private practice for 40 years. Dr. Joy (as her patients call her) works with individuals, families and couples making transitions. So the big existential questions have special interest for her: Who am I right now? Who do I want to be? And where? And with whom?

These are essential gap year questions, especially for those in mid-life thinking about their marriage or other partner relationships and how they want to spend the time they have left. She has a special interest in couples and how they try to answer the big questions together.

When Debbie and Sam left D.C. to take their gap year, they transitioned from essentially individual pursuits to a shared life. They found themselves spending a lot more time together and decided they needed someone to help them navigate this new shared stage in their relationship. They went to Dr. Joy looking for tools to communicate better as a mid-life couple; she was terrifically helpful.

But this episode is not a therapy session. Debbie met up with Dr. Joy in her Brooklyn office to discuss mid-life and transitions, how marriages and relationships stay strong or sink, and how thinking about death can be a good thing.

Mentioned in this episode

Her website: Dr. Joy Dryer, PhD

Dr. Joy’s Acronyms:

• MC{squared}: Money X Children X Career (plus Sex)
• BLT (the existential questions, not the sandwich): Body, Love and Time

Definition of Existential Psychotherapy (PDF)

International Association for Relational Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy at whose International Conference Dr. Joy recently presented a paper.